Monday, 6 March 2017

2 Months With Kovah Willow

When people say time flies when you have a baby, they weren't lying. HOW has it been 2 months already? It's amazing that I can't seem to remember my bump that well but it only feels like a few days ago I was meeting my daughter for the first time. It feels like she's been here forever but also, just a day. 

I was in John Lewis at the weekend and a couple stopped pushing their double pram, sat on a sofa and pulled their two tiny twin babies up and comforted them. I had tears in my eyes when I noticed how small they were in their over sized white sleepsuits and their full heads of brown hair. I was so close to tears because our little bird was the same size as those little babes when we came home. My eyes drifted back to my pram where Kovah was peacefully sleeping and my heart strained at how big she's gotten. I am SO proud of how well she's done and how she's gained weight beautifully but in that moment I realised my tiny baby was now, not so tiny.

I am speechless at where these last two months have gone. How have I spent everyday for the last two months with this little wonder? I can honestly say these past 8 weeks and 3 days have been the happiest of my life. I smile everyday thanks to her. I am in a routine thanks to her. I feel full of love everyday because of her...and I have NO idea how I went through life without these things. 

Kovah Willow is now weighing well over 8lbs...her last weigh in 2 weeks ago she was 7lbs! She has started following things when they move, like my face or Daddy. She adores the window in the bedroom and every morning we lie on the bed for a while and just watch the outside world tick by. She is starting to like bathtime more, she fell asleep last week but this week we had a melt down. Her smiles are getting more regular...still not sure if she has intentionally smiled yet though. She is still waking every 3 hours for her feeds but is already taking over 3oz every time.

We have started getting out a lot more this past month. I was SO anxious about going out on my own because I still feel like I'm healing and walking for a long time makes me feel really weak and faint. My section scar however is totally healed and I never had any trouble with this after the op at all. It's more from my conditions that I am recovering from still. I'm slowly getting more confident with getting out there on my own and this week I even drove for the first time and alone with Kovah in the back. 

We are still breastfeeding a few times a day and giving her formula as her appetite and my body can't keep up with each other. I also recently found out the magnesium I was on in hospital effects milk supply so I have stopped freaking out so much over the amount I'm producing, which is allowing me to enjoy feeding times more.

I have managed to get back down to 8 and quarter stone ( I was exactly 8 pre-pregnancy) which I'm really happy with but need to start work on my core as soon as I feel 100% myself again. I'm super proud of my body for fighting off 2 life threatening conditions, creating such a perfect baby girl and protecting her from those conditions so she was completely untouched by the effects. I'm amazed at how it's all pretty much gone back to normal so fast but I'm still battling in my head at how by body failed me so badly at the end of pregnancy. I still feel slightly cheated that I wasn't able to experience things most women do at the end of pregnancy and firstly when their baby enters the world. But all these things aside I am so grateful I am here and have the most beautiful blessing, that is my daughter.

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