Sunday, 7 February 2021

Birth Story: Healing and Empowering

This is the story of how I bloomed from a mother full of doubt in her body to an empowered mother full of strength that adores her body's journey.

3am Friday 29th January, under a full moon, I woke to mild contractions. They were weak enough that I could sleep through them for a while. I woke again at 4.30am. I was sure this was labour, I knew my body well enough to know this was the start of it all. I woke Mike up to come time my surges while I got in the shower around 5am. It felt incredible. So relaxing as the warm water fell over my bump for what would be the last time. 

After my shower they were 4minutes apart but still managable. We went downstairs and listened to some music and chatted until Kovah woke around 8am. It was lovely to have that time together in the morning as the sun was rising. 

We went about our day but I was feeling exhausted at midday so took some friendly advice to have a nap while I could. After a couple of hours in woke to my surges being stronger. But they were now 8minutes apart. I was getting frustrated because I was due to be induced on Saturday. I was desperate to have this baby naturally as I knew I was more likely to have a successful vbac if I did go naturally. Again listening to friends we decided to go for a family walk. 

Off we went to our local field to let our pup have a good run. Such a surreal walk, holding Kovah's hand while having stronger surges. She held my hand tight through one, like she knew. This made my surges pick up again and they were definitely getting stronger. I came back and bounced on my birth ball for a couple of hours while the evening drew in. 

We put Kovah to bed, the last time as an only child. My heart was aching for my first baby. Letting an era end, to allow a new story to begin for her as a big sister. 

After making a couple of mini pizzas I went to the bedroom to log into a zoom call with some of my wonderful Instagram mums. They were so supportive, telling me their birth stories, making me laugh, just being the best company you could have in labour. I was breathing through my surges which were every 3 or 4 minutes now. The Freya app I used was telling me it was time to go to hospital. I ignored it a couple of times until they were strong enough I needed to sign off from my girls. 

I told Mike it was time to call his mum to come look after Kovah. At around 11.30 we headed to hospital. Mike dropped me off and headed back home because we forgot the baby bag and I was convinced I'd only be 2cm. A lovely lady opened the door for me and helped me through a strong surge in the doorway.  

After getting checked I was so shocked to hear I was already at 5cm. I was admitted and moved to my room. I told Mike to come back. I was labouring with a lovely midwife who was so supportive of my choice try for a vbac. We were chatting and laughing between my surges. At around 1.45am I felt a huge thud and bang in my lower back the a gush of water. It wasn't at all what I thought it would feel like when your waters go. I was so scared something broke inside me. I was reassured it was just my waters but that was my least favourite part. The fact my waters had gone and Mike still wasn't with me really started to worry me. Thankfully the midwife called him for me and he arrived at 2am. 

Things started to ramp up now and the surges were stronger still with added pressure from babys head. I had been stood up with my hands on the bottom of the bed, breathing through each surge and rocking from standing to squatting with every out breath but my feet were starting to really hurt. I moved up onto the bed to go on my knees and hold onto the headboard. Still breathing deeply and doing my rocking motion it really helped to move with the motions in my body. 

I had gone the whole labour without drugs but at 3.10am the pressure of her head coming was intense so I swapped to gas and air. Best decision and invention ever! I was breathing out harder and letting out the odd moan but I felt like I was totally in control of my body and what was happening it was so empowering. After just 6minutes of pushing my second baby girl entered the world in 1 push. Her head came and her body followed out after. I was in total shock. The midwife and Mike were both telling me to turn around because she was here and I didn't believe them. I couldn't believe I had done it. 

Needless to say I was crying because I had another perfect baby girl but I had also done something I never thought I was stronge enough to do. MY body had carried her to 39 weeks on the dot, without getting preeclampsia or HELLP syndrome again AND birthing her totally naturally! It was such an overwhelming feeling of pride and joy I'll never come close to experiencing again. 

As she came so fast I have suffered a second degree tear which took 30 minutes to stitch. Thankfully that nice lady who let me in the door when I arrived was a consultant and she was fixing me up.  Mike got to cut the cord, an experience he'd missed out on before and it was just all just a dream, the perfect birth. Such beautiful healing experience that's washed away all anxiety I've felt towards birth. 


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